Grace

wow it's been a while since I've written on here : )

I'm learning a few things about grace lately, I don't really know how this will come out because it's not really very organised in my head but I'll give it a go : )

Grace is a pretty amazing thing I think, straight from God. But I think that it very rarely takes the form that we would expect it too...

A few months ago, I had a really big let down from someone really close, it had been building up for a few months and throughout that time I had been praying about the situation, trying to forgive, trying to say the right things and act the right way and trust God with all of it. And then I get the bomb shell and I was really struggling to forgive because I was convinced that I shouldn't have been upset in the first place. I reasoned that I had no right to be upset at all because, since the person who had hurt me wasn't a christian, then I have nothing to hold them accountable to, I shouldn't have been mad in the first place because in the world, what she did wasn't "wrong" So I was really beating myself up.

Then Jesus, because of His grace, let me know that it was ok to be upset, and that the last thing He wanted from me was to protect my heart so much as to not be upset when my friends let me down. He explained to me that my situation was kind of the same as my relationship with Him, that every single day, I hurt Him quite a lot. And it's not that my sin doesn't bother Him, it's that He doesn't let it get in the way of His love for me. My sin is forgiven because His love for me is greater than my sin and greater than His let downs. With that in mind, I could fit forgiveness into my head and day by day I am learning to give more grace to others because of the grace given to me.

Another thing I have learnt lately is the fact that grace isn't conditional of our own forgiveness. I really let down a lot of people recently, and despite my best efforts to make ammends and apologise, I haven't, and might not ever, received forgiveness from them. However, my heart is right before God. I can't change and must deal with the consequences of my own actions, but before God, there is no condemnation for me. I duno if this makes sense, it's still working itself out in my life. But the coolest thing is, that no matter how much I think I've screwed up, He will never fail to use it to teach me something or deal with something or just draw me closer to Him. And I think thats really cool, it makes me want to have more grace with others.

And this verse really illustrates what I'm trying to say - "Do not gloat over me, my enemy. Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light. Because I have sinned against Him, I will bear the LORD's wrath until He pleads my case and establishes my right. He will bring me out into the light. I will see his righteousness." - Micah 7:8-9

We have to deal with the consequences of our sin but He will restore us. He's still in control.

Hope this makes sense, its so simple but I think I'm going to be learning it for the rest of my life. In the way I deal with others, the way I see others deal with eachother, and the way my relationship with God develops.

anyways, enough.
much love
A